I was speaking with Amanda Leigh of The Amateur Pole Arts Showcase when she casually spoke this little truth, “Sexy is not about sex.” I know Amanda’s not the first or last person to make this observation, but when she said it something really resonated with me. It was the perfect summary of some deep feelings I usually take significantly more words to express.
To the literal person, “Sexy is not about sex” may seem like a paradox. How can the adjective form of a noun not be related to the noun itself? First let’s establish the two different working definitions of sexy. The first one is the cultural, presentational “sexy” – someone else’s projected concept of sex appeal worn like an accessory. As Paris Hilton put it, “I’m sexy but I’m not sexual.” In the same way a person can dress “sporty” or “artsy” but still lack any in real athletic or artistic talent, a person can dress sexy but lack any real sexuality. Hugo Schwyzer writes pointedly on this type of “sexy” in his article, “The Paris Paradox: how sexualization replaces opportunity with obligation”.